Funny

There is this comedian named Mitch...

"People in the parade are cocky, you know? They think they uh, attracted an AUDIENCE you know? But really, it's people waiting to cross the street! I could attract a crowd too if I stood in everybody's way.

I got into an argument with a girlfriend inside of a tent. That is a bad place for an argument, because then I tried to walk out and slam the flap... How are supposed to express your anger in this situation? Zipper it up really quick?

I was standing by a door and a security guard came over, 'You're gonna have to move, you're blocking the fire exit.' As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run! If you're flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.

I like an esclator man, because an escalator can never break down. It can only 'become stairs.' There would be no sign that would say: 'escalator temporarily out of order', just a sign that says: 'escalator temporarily stairs.'

I was working at the Riviera hotel in Las Vegas and there was four comedians on the bill and we all had similar hair because we were all using the Riviera hotel shampoo. It was a 'two in one' shampoo and two in one is a bad term because one is not big enough to hold two. That's why two was created. If it was two in one, it would be overflowing."

Thank you Mitch for your jokes. I will not sell them and this is non-profit. So everything is OK. Even if you are reading this and you don't want them on here, I will be glad to take them off!

-Sir Cardbored

Week knights with cardbored

Yeah, you can see the latest movie down below... Sooner or later when I get my suit back, I will make a t.v. show! Do you like the knight ads? Last time I checked, there were knight ads above the video! So, when I start the show, I'll be smiting, (or slaying) inanimate objects. But, my cardboard sword, Smiteth, broke. So, I went to the flea market and got a brand new REAL sword named "Slayeth" I also have a battle axe that is named "Wacketh"! YAY!

So the show will be played below, and there will only be one post at a time! I hope you enjoy!

-Sir Cardbored

TV

TV CAN KILL YOUR CHILDREN! (A video by me!)
Click to see Video

The actors

In high school, I'm in a class called Drama II (two). The kids in my group are in tenth grade, while I am a freshman. They are so funny and hyper like I am. We are doing a play: "Cinderella wore combat boots" and the prince is waving a sword in the beginning because he wants to go hunt dragons. I told the group that I had a cardboard knight's armor and if the prince could wear it and they were like "yeah!"

So it looks like the prince (which isn't me) will be wearing my armor in the beginning. These guys are great actors and it will be loads of fun. I am thinking of asking them if they want to be in my movies. Since they are actors and all, I think they would do great. I dont know if they would though. They are all hyper and stuff so maybe.

-Sir Cardbored

Test

If you pass the quiz, You get to see the 15th movie. It is hard and it will test you knowledge of the cardbored knight! If you pass, just send me your e-mail and I will explain more than. 80 or higher and you pass.

sleep

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! I can't get any sleep! This dang puppy won't shut up!!!!!!!!!!!! It's 4:00 in the morning and this damn thing keeps squeeling. You're probally like "well it's just a puppy" But this has been going on for weeks!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!! I try everything. Water, attention, food. I get pissed.

-Sir Cardbored

yay?

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Stare at the red on black backdrop. If it is on white, stare at blue.

-Sir Cardbored

Larghetto

Yeah. I just started going to Largo High. Everyone I know is like "Dude that place is ghetto man." But it is not! Almost everyone there is nice to me besides this one kid. He says I stole his pen. And it was my pen. Then he takes it from me and I'm weirded out. Then he sticks it in my ear and I get mad. He keeps saying I stole his pen. I got it back from him though. Then he takes one of his pens and says "Oh! There it is!" I was like "That pen is blue and mine is black" Because that is true. I guess that is his way of making freinds. Is he my freind?

Before that I went to Drama II. It was really fun. There is these funny kids and we are going to do a play. I told one of the kids about this website. I think his name is Matt. They all tease me about being a freshman but they are really nice to me. I told them I made a suit out of cardboard and suggested that I should help with the costumes. They're like "Yeah sure! That is awesome!".

There is also this weird preppy chick that makes obnoxious comments in class. I think it is kind of funny. Everyone gets mad at her. I laughed.

I make this water droplet noise with my mouth and everyone is like "Woah!" But this one chick from drama is like "I do that too." She hasn't done it yet. I think her name is Ashley or Alison or something like that. They call me "Oreo" because my name is Ari and it sounds like Oreo. Another chick called me "cookie" then she said "Let's call him 'yummy'". Is that weird? It would be funny if Matt actually read this. Because he would be like "woah"... TOTALLY!

-Sir Cardbored

sooned

Very soon I shall post newest movie! Grandma's is land in which I shall do so. I cannot wait! I also made a documentary of the Cardbored knight.

-Sir Cardbored